Blood Transfer

I was admitted to hospital last Thursday. Last Thursday, was the day for my visit to consult my doctor and I really taught that I will be at home to enjoy "Project Runway - Season 4" that night. And I spent that night at hospital after see my doctor. I was there for 3 reasons :-
1) Blood transfer as my hemoglobin was low, quite low, the reading was 8.8.
2) Booster injection as my white blood cells low, the reading was 2.6, not as low as previously but still low, no wonder I did feel tired.
3) for CT Scan. Doctor required me to do the scan after read my latest tumour marker. Ya, again the CA125 goes up. Don't ask me why as my doctor also can't tell me the reason and I didn't ask him also. I truly understand this, only God knew the answer.

Yeah, I success discharged at 10.15am, a very sunny Friday morning. I feel this is so amazing!!! With my experience, the insurance procedure for discharge normally will took 5 or 6 hours. Usually I get the thing done and only able to leave hospital at 3pm but not this time. That day it only took about 1 hour ++ to get the bill done and I get to informed that I may leave at 10.15am. This is so amazing, God Father is so great, so so great. I did pray to Him for the approval of insurance claim and for faster processing and it did happened. Thank you God Father, You are so great and so good. Praise God and all glory be to You, God Father.

Thanks Lord Jesus.

Fell down at toilat

I fell down at my toilat in the middle of night, last night. I was having diarrhea as the side effect of RT, and was sleeping in the middle of late night, suddenly felt like need to let go at toilat and so I just woke up and walked to the toilat. After opened the door, the moment I stepped into the toilat, whole body just lost control and I fell down as the floor was too slipery. The moment I gained back the control to my hands and legs, I was lying down on the toilat floor!!! I tried to called my husband for help but silence answered me. Lucky I still able to stand up by myself and walked back to my bed and opened the bedroom door to called my husband. My left hand and left leg were in pain at that moment, both of us taught that it must have "black green" color on the next day. We don't have any 'herb oil' at home and hence I just continue my sweet dream without doing anything to my hand and leg. However, my hand and leg were just fine, just a bit black green, a bit pain only, this is so amazing and all glory be to God. Thanks Lord Jesus and praise Him for all these amazing work. Hallelujah. Thanks the Lord for so little pain and no hurt of my fell down. Thank you Lord, You are so good and so great.

Talk about dream, I do have a weird dream last night. My husband did mentioned somewhere in this blog said that he never understand my weird dream, haha, so do I :p.

Back to my dream last night, I only remember the part that my husband and me were driving in a car on a highway, running fast. In front of us, was another sport car and its driver who is a guy, running fast too. And the funny part is there was always some nice sport biker over take us and the sport car, so both the nice bike and sport car were in front of us and we saw something even more funny, where both the biker and driver fly high in the sky and they swap their vehicles. This means that the biker jumped to the sport car, and the sport car driver jumped to the bike. After a while, they do that again and swap back to their own vehicles. Then the biker accelarate and lost in sight. Come another nice biker and things repeated. The only different is those bike were different in shape and color, I got to said they all nice and expensive bike. My husband must be able to name those bike if this dream belongs to him. haha.

My Quilt Project

My husband bought me a magazine, it is all about quilts project. He want me to do something as my hobby. It is really quite useful, while I am focus to do something, it really helps me to forget my tiredness, forget my pain and feeling happy when I see the work done. I started to make my first quilt project. This is the first time I do sewing work. My mother and elder sister are tailor, so I do see they sew every day since I was a small kid, but I never sew as I am not really interested with it and I really not good to control that sewing machine. There is once I try to use that machine to make one straight line but fail, as the machine run too fast and I just can't control it :p. I am still not very good to control the speed of that machine while sewing, but I think I am improving :-). My first quilt is not as nice as those made by professional like my mum and my sis, but I think it is quite ok haha. Although it is clearly to see that those square are not match each other on its line, some square are bigger and some are smaller :p. I told my mum that I purposely make it that way, it is a style hehehe, like a dead chicken trying to push the cover (in kanto). Anyway, the next quilt will be better, I can guarantee that :-). The first quilt is done for my lovely husband, lucky he never complain me ;-).

These are the guinea pig, size of all square are not even :p

These are the improved part, see the square are all about the same haha

Here is the done quilt project, 100% hand made :-)

Death

I get to know that someone I knew, can consider relative gua, just discovered that she has breast cancer stage IV, and it is already metasis to her brain and bone. It is kind of like waiting her time to end and doctor only can make her feel a bit more comfortable. She is above 70 years old, she can't talk much at the moment and only able to move one of her hand. I did pay her a visit together with my mum and my aunt. She cried while we were there at her house. I guess she is suffeing with pain and .... what kind of feeling is it when a person knew he/she is going to die, lying on bed for the time to come....I guess this is not easy to be taking care by anyone!!! Cancer definately is a disease that require a lot of suffering, I see those elderly people at hospital who under going chemo or RT, I am actually glad that I got cancer at this young age, sigh those painfulness really not not not easy to bear with. Actually everyone of us also have no idea when our life is going to end, it could be anytime and only God knows. We all should apprecaite our days and be more thankful to anything. To face death, I guess we need something else, it is really hard to face it by ourselves alone. I feel lucky that I get to know Lord Jesus, when life is end on earth, it is like going home, going home to see our Father in heaven. Thanks Lord Jesus for saving me, amen :-).

Fatigue

Tiredness.....I was feeling so so tired for the past few weeks. It was really tired and the only thing I do is just lye down and sleep. I also feeling not comfortable, I can't describe how uncomfortable I am but the body just feel not so good, sighhhh the only thing I can do is just bear with it. I went to see doctor 2 days ago and now I know the reason that I had been feeling so tired : my white blood cells count is very low, only 1.9 as the normal range is 4 - 11. Now I remember I did experience the same feeling last time, about a year ago and I am also under chemo that time. The same dead fish feeling. Again the doctor have to give me the booster injection. It is always so painful for the booster injection at my abdomen. Beside this, I also got another side effect of chemo + 15 times of RT, I am having quite serious diarrhea, need to let go them about 5 or 6 times a day, very watery. Hence, doctor bend me from eating green vege and fruits for the moment. Too bad I just bought 2kg of yummy cherry, all have to kao tiem by my husband lo. The cherry really nice to see and nice to eat oh. Write till here, I feel not so good again, blehhh need to stop here and go have a rest lo.

An Update...

I went to see my doctor and started my third cycle of chemo at hospital. Dato told me that the radiologist insisted that there are something there at my pelvis area, seems to be 3 mass there, hence Dato want me to do radiotherapy for 15 times to shot them at my pelvis there. I just went to hospital to do the planning today. I drove there myself and the nurse there told me it is not ok for me to drive, bleh :p but I felt that I am ok, I can drive, thanks to the Lord. The planning for RT actually is for them to do some ct scan on my pelvis area and they put some marker on my abdomen with black marker pen :-), really like in Mr.Bean cartoon where doctor draw the line on his stomach before start the operation haha. Well, I am going to have the last dose of chemo and immediately follow with the first RT on coming Monday. Thanks to God that due to the location that RT to shot is a bit lower and it won't cause me vomit, thanks God oh :-). Also thanks God that Dato didn't said need to do operation, I really very scare of operation :p.

I will keep praying and I do believe that Lord Jesus is healing me.

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His wounds you have been healed.
[1 Peter 2:24]

2D1N @ Cameron Highlands

All of us, 21 adults and 4 kids in 6 cars departed to Cameron Highlands on last Saturday, what a sunny morning. We took the new path where the turning to Cameron is at Simpang Pulai, Ipoh. It is a good way to reach Cameron without much turning like the old path, all of us felt so much more comfortable although it is actually took us a further way to reach there. In the middle of the way, we saw heavy mist surround the mountain and rain dropped on our cars. It was raining and I felf so happy for this as I wanted to feel the cold cold weather at Cameron. The whole night was raining and we all have to stay inside our apartment and have our plan to pasar malam to be cancelled. However we all do enjoy our dinner and supper inside our apartment, it was a lot of food my aunt prepared, steamboat we have there. Everyone just ate and chit chat, some planning which corner to sleep, those little monsters are the same, fighting for toy or anything they interested. Finally everyone got their spot for that night, the room I slept actually can hold 10 persons!! It was last minutes turned out to be so many people for this trip and we were not able to get another apartment as that weekend was holiday of Penang state, hence it was quite crowed at Cameron. Thanks God everyone able to fit in the apartment :-). I really enjoyed this trip, enjoyed the time with my beloved family members. Nice wheather and nice trip :-). Thank you God.

3 little angels, guess they are the most happy person for the trip, "wo yao kai kai" :-)

Yummy steamboat, I only can eat vege and some fish paste bleh :p

All daugther of Choong's family, too bad my elder sister was not there.

This is a new tea shop and the view really nice!! But the tea there just so so, we found that tea at another tea shop by Boh are much nicer.

It was so windy at this tea shop, I felt so cold and have to kidnapped the jacket of my husband, it was so fun with these windy and coldness air at Cameron, the wind actually strong enough to blow away my niece :p

I just done a CT Scan and blood test last week, good new is my tumor maker dropped, CA125 even dropped to 32, within the normal range. Thanks God for this. Another good new is the tumor in my lung got smaller in size, it is now 2.5*2cm, what a great job by God, praise God and may the glory be to the Lord. However, the report said that found 3 mass in my abdomen, seems like are tumors, but my doctor disagree with this and suspected they are scar tissue. I am still waiting for him to get back to me. Anyway, I just surrender all these to God's hand. I will just keep praying and hope any brother or sister who read this do pray for me. Thanks in advance. May God bless you all. Thanks Lord Jesus for all these.