Helpful Nurse

I did my 3rd chemo yesterday. It was a lucky day. The nurse surprisingly became very helpful and success helped me to take 6 hours day cares instead of admit to hospital. Maybe she feels that I am pity as I was crying in front of her on the previous visit when she refused to help me on my medical card. Since then, she became very nice to me.

My honey decided to quit his job. He is going to start his new job on July. Yeah, I am happy that he could company me for 1 month and sending me in and out from the hospital every day.

Thank You

I have started my aggressive treatment for about 2 weeks. I need to do radiotherapy every day and chemotherapy once a week. So far so good. I still can eat but started to feel no taste and has vomit feeling. I drank a lot of the herbal tea. Those herbal tea may help to lighten all the side effect of my treatment. I really hope it helps and I can survive from the scary side effect.

Relatives and friends came to visit me. I would like to thank everyone who loves me. Thanks my mom, my dad and auntie for cooking me the herbal tea every day. Thanks sister for sending me to hospital every day. Thanks auntie for the fresh apples and thanks all my dear friends for visiting. Also not to forget to thank my honey who always support me. Thanks for giving me water in the middle of night, thanks for the yummy milk milk every night. Sorry to you that I couldn't buy you any birthday present this year.

I learn to appreciate every day I have. It is so good to see and feel the sun early in the morning. Thanks god to give me one more day.

Start Treatment

This is the first time I met Dato who is a famous Oncologist. Dato is so friendly and he explained very clearly to me about my illness. After heard my story, Dato said he is not agree with the lab test result that stated my cancer was small cells type. He requested me to redo the CT Scan and blood test. Also requested us to get back my tumor cells from the lab and sent it to SJMC for another round of analysis. I was thinking maybe it is not cancer, maybe it is something that has easier treatment and higher recovery chances??? However, I don't put any hope for that and try not to think so much about it.

We back to see Dato on the next day. Adenocarcinoma lung cancer was its name. I didn't cry this time. I listened carefully and I asked questions. Which stage is that? Is it curable? And finally this question: Why?
"I have no idea as you are non-smoker, you don't hang around at second-hand smoker places, but cancer patient's age are getting younger and younger nowadays."
That's the answer from doctor.

I already knew that I am not going to get any answer from anyone. Some people claim that it is due to the life style of the patient. They will tell you that it is your fault, you cannot blame anyone else. Do we really need to say such things to cancer patient??? Do we really need to tell cancer patient to blame himself for the illness??? Does this give any help??? I really doubt that.

There are 2 type of lung cancer:-
· Big cell
· Small cell

Actually my case was quite emergency and should start treatment immediately, but Dato said since I am ok (I look ok), so he would like to delay one day to re-test everything. This is important, as different kind of cancer will require different treatment. My earlier report stated that my cancer was small cell type, which is wrong. Dato confirmed that my case is big cell type. Treatment for big cell is slightly a bit easier then small cell. This really is good news to me, among the bad news.

I started my treatment on the next day and Dato explained clearly to me about his treatment plan. He requested me to maintain my weight – 55kg. He said that I cannot afford to lost weight!

Mom, I Love you

I got the test report and yes, it was malignant and confirmed it is cancer. I went home to see my mom that day and taught it could be the last time to see my mom. We hug each other and cried. She was sick also and just discharged for a backbone operation. Nobody inform her about my situation and I taught I should let her knows …

Needle Biospy

I was admitted to Sentosa hospital and met the doctor who is a radiologist. Doctor immediately arranged the procedure needle biospy for me on the same day. Prior to that, I was been told that 99.9% is cancer as there is water inside my lungs. Oh my god! I taught myself already prepared to hear this but I still can't really accept it. I was crying and I feel so sorry to my honey. He is so unlucky as he got a sick wife just one month ago! We both sit at one corner at hospital and we were crying …

At that moment I really taught I might only have about one month time, as it is not possible to have an operation to remove the tumor, its location is too close to heart!

After the needle biopsy, I was so weak, not even able to open my eyes. I was sleeping in sitting posture. This is because I need the help of gravity to flow my blood back into heart, else my face will become red like lobster, neck and arms will be swollen. My honey got an extra bed and company me that night. I seems heard he was crying in the middle of night with his hand holding on mine …