about operation...

I just read an article written by a cancer patient. It remind me that when I did my second operation on my abdomen to remove tumours. I do understand the feeling of the writter as I did experience the same!! Right before the operation, doctor told me and my husband that if the tumour touch my colon then he will cut off that part of the colon, and IF he cannot connect back the colon, he might open one small hole at my abdoment for me to .....shit!!! I really feel worry and scare after hearing this. I keep praying to God Father that I don't want that hole, it really disturb my life, disturb the quality of my life, and I am very very scare....I only able to seek help from God. When I wake up from the operation, the first question I asked my husband was - "got hole or not?" Thanks God that there is no hole for that, the operation was success and the tumour just barely touch the colon, doctor did removed those area and inserted the tube there at my abdomen for chemo purpose. Thanks God for all these and I really feel thankful from my heart that God didn't put that hole on me. That was happend on April 2009. Today I still carrying that tube and already done 3 cycle of chemo with that tube. Again I thanks God that the nurses are taking care of the dressing on the tube for me every weeks. I did clean the tube and wound on myself at the begining...sigh...not easy oh...really got to admit that nurses are the pro on this, it just easy on its look, really need skills to do it and maintain clean, else if kena infection then a lot of troublesome...I really don't want to imagine that. Thanks God that my wound is ok and so far so good.

Ya, with all these hard time and pain time, I experience the company of God, I surrender myself, my life to God and I believe that God knews what is the best for me. There is only one thing I pray to God that I don't want any operation, I am very scare of it, lying down on bed after operation is very very....sigh...I guess people who experience the same only can understand the feeling. My left foot still numb since I wake up from the operation, however I didn't complain or angry, I feel thankful to God that I am still able to walk :-). Dear Father in heaven, please keep me away from any operation, I am really scare of it. Father, i surrender everything and my life to You, please be with me and may Your healing hand upon me. thank you Father. in Jesus name. amen.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
[Psalm 23:4]

我虽然行过死阴的幽谷
也不怕遭害
因为你与我同在
你的杖，你的竿，都安慰我。
[诗23:4]

Word form God always give me power when I am weak. Thanks God, thanks Lord.

I am so thankful

I am so thankful to God Father. I went to hospital for blood test and wound dressing on this Raya week. Dato was not around as he celebrate his Raya holiday at oversea with his family. I was a bit worry about my tumour marker as it was up on the previous marker check. I have to admit that I do feel weak sometimes and I do pray to God, I need help from God Father, with the abundant love from Him, I feel much much better. Anyway, thanks to God Father that my tumour marker dropped, my CA125 is dropped. This is so great, God Father is so great, thank you God Father, may all the glory be to Yours. amen.

I just finished my own bei bei :-). I like the bear bear so much so I kept these fabrics for myself. I tried to do it with some new idea, new pattern and it turn out to be quite nice. I like it a lot :-).

Actually green is my favourite color, just too bad I got no much green color so have to pick pink color as the main color for this bei bei. The bear bear is so cute.

Quilt to be 'gift' out

I did a lot of quilt recently, all of them were/are to be 'gift' out to my lovely relatives and friends. I am able to finish one quilt by 2 days, I guess expert like my sister able to do it within 1 day, I work part time as I am easy to get tired :p. The next one I am going to do will be my own bei bei, I will try to do something new...well, I still thinking about it. My friend bought me 3 pieces of fabrics from Vietnam and soon I will work on those fabrics to create nice bei bei, maybe will try to create bag, anyway all idea still flying in my mind, yet to decide. I already picked one from those fabrics and passed to my sister to make one shirt for me :-), guess I will wear it to attend wedding dinner. Anyway I still got a lot quilt projects to do, still got a list of ppl to be 'gift' :-).

This bei bei is given to my sister-in-law, El Von, pink color for young lady :-)

Cute brown bunny for Siew Wai's son - Jee Hong, hope he like to play with it, smaller size for kid.

This bei bei is for my niece - Chew Jane, added yellow and orange color as I was running out of brown color fabrics and it look nice with the orange color eldge.

I made 4 bei bei of this fabrics, used up all the fabrics to 'gift' my mom, my mom-in-law, my best friend and my aunt. Not all 4 look the same as some I use more the plain pink color fabrics.

Internet was Down

My Internet line was down at home for the past few days. The contract for one year already expired and we didn't release it as we paid for one whole year when we subscribed to this ISP. We was thinking not to continue as we seems to be able to survive without it, but then....I can't online to chat with friends, can't update my blog, can't harvest at my farm ville :p, at the end we called to continue the internet service :-).

My doctor changed me to take oral chemo. For the first few days when I started to take it, I do feel very very uncomfortable and I just lying down on bed for the whole day. Thanks God I am ok now and enjoying my 'rest' day without the medicine for 3 weeks. The next cycle should start next week and doctor will increase the dose. I get to know that my white blood count low again today when did the follow up to see my doctor. Errr again, I got my booster injection and the nutrition adviced me to eat more, ya eat eat eat, I will try and my weight also dropped 300g :p, so I really need to try eat more to maintain both my blood count and weight. Ganbateh to myself and again I surrender all to my Lord Jesus and I don't care about the tumour marker.....Thanks God Father and You are Good all the times :-).

weak + weak + weak

I feel weak, I feel not comfortable, I feel like crying, I am crying....thanks mum for taking care of me, thanks my husband for picking me back home, thanks cheng yee, thanks yong xin for saying "ah yee, bu yao ku"....crying make me feel better.....

Book Fair

My husband, my brother-in-law and I went to the book fair at PGRM last Sunday. It was a book fair for all christian stuff, they have these book fair every year and this is about the 5th year. I was so happy get to visit this book fair, so many books to see and so many cute stuff like sticker, key chain, t-shirt, book mark and so many more...Of course I have to wear mask to visit this book fair else my husband won't bring me there :p

My dear husband bought me a t-shirt, red in color, the word Jesus written on it and behind it written all His other name like "The Truth", "Word of God", "Emmanuel", "King of Kings"..........He also bought me one new bible, this bible is with explanation, easier for me to understand :-). Elsen bought me a wood that for me to hang on my car' rear mirror. I like the design, like a cross with the word Jesus, so beautiful. It was great to see all these things, hehe :-).

I bought some sticker too.

My new bible....hope I get to learn more with this bible, I started to read again from chapter 1 - Genesis, old testament.

Nice design ya, the word Jesus in a cross, and this is my cute car, my lovely husband's hand.

My oral medicine

We went to hospital to collect my medicine this morning. My husband and I was a bit shock when the pharmacist come out from the room with one big styfoam box!! Actually inside the box, there are 2 small box of my medicine, just that it need to be stored in low temporature, that's why it is inside styfoam box with ice. I am going to take this medicine soon and its effect are just like chemo drug, also its side effect are just like chemo - vomit, diarrhea... but thanks God there is no hair lost :-D. My hair just look nice now as it grow back after I botak my hair last year. I like short hair style nowaday, easy to take care :-). Thanks God for my hair still there on my head.

My medicine was inside this box!!!