about operation...

I just read an article written by a cancer patient. It remind me that when I did my second operation on my abdomen to remove tumours. I do understand the feeling of the writter as I did experience the same!! Right before the operation, doctor told me and my husband that if the tumour touch my colon then he will cut off that part of the colon, and IF he cannot connect back the colon, he might open one small hole at my abdoment for me to .....shit!!! I really feel worry and scare after hearing this. I keep praying to God Father that I don't want that hole, it really disturb my life, disturb the quality of my life, and I am very very scare....I only able to seek help from God. When I wake up from the operation, the first question I asked my husband was - "got hole or not?" Thanks God that there is no hole for that, the operation was success and the tumour just barely touch the colon, doctor did removed those area and inserted the tube there at my abdomen for chemo purpose. Thanks God for all these and I really feel thankful from my heart that God didn't put that hole on me. That was happend on April 2009. Today I still carrying that tube and already done 3 cycle of chemo with that tube. Again I thanks God that the nurses are taking care of the dressing on the tube for me every weeks. I did clean the tube and wound on myself at the begining...sigh...not easy oh...really got to admit that nurses are the pro on this, it just easy on its look, really need skills to do it and maintain clean, else if kena infection then a lot of troublesome...I really don't want to imagine that. Thanks God that my wound is ok and so far so good.

Ya, with all these hard time and pain time, I experience the company of God, I surrender myself, my life to God and I believe that God knews what is the best for me. There is only one thing I pray to God that I don't want any operation, I am very scare of it, lying down on bed after operation is very very....sigh...I guess people who experience the same only can understand the feeling. My left foot still numb since I wake up from the operation, however I didn't complain or angry, I feel thankful to God that I am still able to walk :-). Dear Father in heaven, please keep me away from any operation, I am really scare of it. Father, i surrender everything and my life to You, please be with me and may Your healing hand upon me. thank you Father. in Jesus name. amen.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
[Psalm 23:4]

我虽然行过死阴的幽谷
也不怕遭害
因为你与我同在
你的杖，你的竿，都安慰我。
[诗23:4]

Word form God always give me power when I am weak. Thanks God, thanks Lord.