Saturday, October 24, 2009

I am back...

It has been a while that I didn't update this blog. Basically I did nothing for the time. Today is the first day after my 5 days oral chemo medicine, the 3rd cycle. It was not great at all for the pass few weeks. I think I get some minor flu infection, I cough more and the flame was green in color. My white blood cells was low, only 1.9 compare to normal range which is 4. I feel weak. I got headache too, this is very scary and as what I expected, doctor requested me to do full CT scan from head to toe, normally it didn't cover my brain. If I tell you that I not scare at all then I am not telling the truth. Well, I need to prepare the stuff for hospital admission for the CT scan soon. Dear God, please be with me.

I feel weak during my medicine week. Weak as it not only for my physical body, it is also weak in my spirit. To continue live is much more harder then to ....hmmm but when I see all the lovely face around me, see those people that love me and I love too, it really encourage me to fight, I keep praying to God that please give me more power to fight, to win all these 'ku nan'. Hope I don't lost all my faith during all the weak time.

I do nothing for the pass week except lying down on sofa, lying down on bed... I can't focus to do anything. I tried to play psp game but my mind seems not there....I tried to sew my undone quilt, my mind also not there, my hands and legs seems not belong to me. Agrrrrr I really don't like this feeling but but but.....I feel blessed as I saw and heard a lot of cancer patients can't do anything at all, can't move, can't talk, only lying down on bed. I should feel happy actually as I still have a normal living. Thank you God.

There is hope...ganbateh....

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

We must be thankful for the little things.
~NiNi.

Anonymous said...

Kawan, gambateh. ^o^ Maggie

Anonymous said...

My dear friend, I like to read your notes, ur notes always encourage me and make my faith to God more and more stronger. You are right, there is HOPE :)

Ian mum

Michelle said...

Hey fighter =P, long time din get your story update.

I can see great wars happened on and off. i know you can make it!